True Love

I’ve never really been one for extravagant Valentine gestures. Thanks to my faith in God, though, each day offers opportunities to witness and experience true love. Even before I was a devoted believer in Christ, I was somewhat familiar with the concept of 1 Corinthians. I knew of it generally as “that love passage” that so many people quote–the one that ends with the line, “And the greatest of these is love.” More on that line in another post, to be sure! But for today, we’ll focus on the description of love in 1 Corinthians.

When I was younger, more immature, less confident, and untrusting of God’s plan, I thought love was supposed to be that kind of all-consuming, obsessive, possessive kind of whirlwind we read about in Wuthering Heights (amazing novel, but not a healthy loving relationship to be found). As I’ve grown more in my faith, I’ve come to appreciate the earlier parts of that famous 1 Corinthians verse because it so perfectly describes what love is and what love is not.

1 Corinthians 13.4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When Haddaway asked “What Is Love?” in the 90’s, someone should have pointed listeners to this verse. The answer is right here in 1 Corinthians 13.4-7! Let’s break down what love is according to God.

Love it patient

There’s time to be patient when we trust in God’s plan. In my own day-to-day life, there are countless opportunities to become impatient with the ones I love. The four-year-old is taking his shoes off right as we arrive at preschool again, or it takes my six-year-old multiple requests to pick up that wet bath towel off the floor. Patience in love is more than just avoiding a frustrated blow-up, it means taking the time to be there with the person who is otherwise annoying you. Instead of hastily throwing the shoes back on the four-year-old, we talk about why I want him to wear shoes and why he doesn’t want to wear shoes. It takes an extra minute and some patience (and the shoes still get put back on), but those little moments are a chance to check in with the kiddo and let him express himself, and maybe I’ll learn a little more about this little character that I love so much.

Love is kind

As a parent, it can be so easy to slip into simply correcting my children. When doing so, I try to always consider these three questions I learned from yoga teacher training: Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? The helpful and necessary parts might be there, but am I expressing myself in a way that is kind to such a young and impressionable person? It’s good to protect and teach those we care about, but taking a patient second to check our tone makes such a difference.

It does not envy

Pure love does not compare against others, so there is nothing to envy. If my mother sends a gift to my brother, I don’t envy that he got something and I didn’t. Instead, it warms my heart to see their bond strengthen. Love grows exponentially and spreads happiness and strength to those around us. Envy grows as well, spreading seeds of competition and eventually distrust. God gave us free will, so we have the choice to be envious or joyful. True love chooses to be joyful.

It does not boast

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Hamlet’s Queen Gertrude captures a human truth here: Those who boast may not be sincere. Be proud of your love and do not hide it, but do not go so far as to exaggerate or hold it over the heads of others.

It is not proud

It’s tough to see the needs of others if we’re distracted by our own pride. Humbling ourselves can feel frightening at first because it’s vulnerable to love. Start with loving God–Nothing to lose there!

It does not dishonor others

There’s no need to dishonor someone or something in the name of loving another someone or something. True love is not tainted by dishonor but brings only joy.

It is not self-seeking

It’s important to love and care for ourselves, but in loving others we should not seek to advance ourselves selfishly. If something good naturally comes along, though, blessings!

It is not easily angered

We get angry sometimes, and that’s part of being human. But there’s a difference between occasionally feeling angry and being easily angered. True love is not quick to anger but patient in seeking understanding.

It keeps no records of wrongs

It’s much easier to be slow to anger when you’re not keeping a tally of things to be angry about. Grudges and mental lists of the ways someone has wronged us do not embody love. In fact, they’ll only get in the way of love.

Love does not delight in evil

An old-school interpretation here could say that love does not delight in the work of the Devil. I look at this through a broader lens and believe that love does not delight in the pain of others. Love is not schadenfreude.

But rejoices with the truth

Truth here can be interpreted to mean God. God is truth, and we rejoice in Him. Rejoicing in God is part of experiencing true love. Without rejoicing in God, there’s a piece of the love puzzle missing.

It always protects

Fellow mama bears know this is true! We protect our little ones from harm, we protect their little hearts from feeling sad. I’m proud to see that my little ones are growing up learning to protect one another, too: Each time we leave the grocery store together, they know to hold each other’s hands in the parking lot and look out for one another as we walk to the car. It might sound like a small moment, but it’s heart-warming to see them grab hands and look both ways together.

Always trusts

I’ll admit this one is easy for me. I completely trust my husband. Heading to Vegas for a weekend? Have fun, honey! But so much of this trust comes from confidence–Confidence in myself, confidence in my husband, confidence in our relationship together, and confidence in God’s plan. Always trust. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt until they prove you wrong.

Always hopes

Love is never-ending. As we grow together, my husband and I share our hopes and dreams. I might not be able to help him get any closer to his big ideas, but I’m here to hope and pray with him. And if one business idea or job or phase doesn’t work out, stay hopeful for the next stage and what it can bring and reveal.

Always perseveres

There are going to be tough times. In the most difficult moments, look for love. Look for signs of God’s love around you each day, and it will become easier and easier to find those signs again when you need them most. God’s love is always here and always will remain. We may struggle to see it sometimes, but it’s there always.

Love God in these ways, too. Love God with patience and trust that He is with us even in the hardest times.

Something else I love about this verse: Love is simple. None of the examples offered here required thousands of dollars, fancy meals, name-brand gifts, or extravagantly planned-out scenarios meant to be witnessed by others. Moments of true love are quick and can pass us by if we don’t grasp what love really is.

Today and every day, try loving those around you the way the Bible describes love in 1 Corinthians 13.4-7. I’ve found that loving this way is more fulfilling for everyone and brings us all closer in those fleeting everyday moments of pure bliss–the moments when we experience love the way God intended.